Well, that happened.
Xiao Zhong, or Rhys to his mom and to pretty much everybody, hates soundchecks and people who hang out backstage, so I still wonder why we kind of like each other. He is that band Pairs that we recorded and mixed last summer and he is coming back to our studio for his new J-Pop project of which he will tell us absolutely nothing here, how is that for promotion? I only just wanted to interview him because I like the way in which he interviews people on his blog Slink Rat, it’s funny yet relevant, so are his answers here.
- My understanding of the Chinese language is very limited, does “Xiao Zhong” actually mean “small cock”?
Nah, it doesn’t but it might as well. I don’t have a big penis but I don’t think anyone would expect me to. I’m a small guy. Small ears, small hands, small penis. Xiao Cock on vocals.
- You have recently been hosting a virtual award ceremony, aren’t you afraid of BO putting together a show called “Fuck Tourettes, Fuck Slink Rat” since you didn’t give him a prize?
There’s a few signs that you’ve made it in this town, and a few people organising an event to publically tear you to pieces is one of them. Another is getting invited to a DJ Spenny party.
- What made you want to work with a pair of french House Producers in the first place? and what makes you come back?
Honestly, you guys are amongst a small group of people here who actually understand good back and fourth piss taking. Gentle ribbing and all that shit. You fucks are funny as all hell and if you say ‘we’ll have the tracks to you by 11pm’ then you have the tracks to us by 11pm. I dig both those qualities. Plus, you won’t get me in the clubs you creeps hang out in, so it’s the only chance we can hang out.
- If you had to choose a DJ name, what would that be?
DJ Fruit Fly. Coming at you soon. I used to be MC Fruit Fly and released a hit single called Zeddy. Last time I went back to my hometown, a girl still had it as her ringtone. I’m like the Crazy Frog back home. Skillz to pay da billz.
- 3 things I should know about Australia that my girlfriend probably didn’t tell me?
You can’t go to any party without getting some kind of a nickname. It’s impossible. Raph will turn in to the Grapes of Raph, then Grapes, then G, then old mate and then Rapha. Clem will just be called Clemydia and that will stick, It will happen.
Nobody drinks Fosters. I’ve never seen a can of it in my life.
Australia has some of the most brutal, realistic anti drink driving and anti smoking ads ever! Youtube ‘Australian TAC ads’ if you’ve figured out how to live your life without Astrill.
- There’s a guy in my band who said “the thing with Xiao Zhong’s music, as shitty as it gets, there’s always one good track on the album”, what’s your comment on that?
Law of averages. Write twenty songs, one has to be at least ok.
But it’s mostly different tastes. Some people think Dream Theatre are the cream of the crop, some people (me) think they are a total wank. I dig the songs I write because they are things that have happened to me or things I’ve seen or certain ideas I wanted to talk about and as long as I dig them, I’m happy.I’d be more worried if certain people actually liked my band, would probably mean we were writing really, really shit songs.
- When are you going to plug those 2 guitar pedals you own together and make a 7 hours Noise album released only on a limited 10 copy cassette?
Oh shit, you’re crazy close there. I did a field recording for a label in the UK recently and they released our album, Summer Sweat on cassette a year ago. Not sure what they are doing with the field recording, but it might go on cassette. But I don’t have the patience to do a noise album, plus I don’t live in Beijing so it would just seem odd.